How Do We Talk About Mental Health?

Mental health is our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, and it influences our ability to handle stress, relate to others, and make decisions. Experiencing periods of emotional ups and downs is common. This can look like feeling stressed, disconnected, or lost. Our mental health fluctuates throughout our life due to various factors like personal circumstances, environmental influences, and biological predispositions. Understanding that mental health is dynamic – and acknowledging that everyone faces difficulties at different stages – is important for reducing the stigma around mental health struggles and seeking the right support. 

Why talking about mental health is so hard

Despite growing discussions around mental health, many still find it challenging to talk about their struggles. Why? Because of a fear of judgement, vulnerability, and the stigma attached to mental health. Phrases like “she’ll be ‘right” or “others have it worse” often discourage openness, and in many cultures, there’s pressure to appear strong and in control – making it feel risky to admit you’re not coping as expected. Every person has a lived experience of challenges related to mental health yet it is a topic we are often least likely to bring up with others. 

A common misconception is that a person must have experienced significant trauma to justify talking about mental health, which discourages people from addressing everyday issues like stress, anxiety, or relationship conflict. The belief that only major distress is “valid” prevents open conversation, and uncertainty about how to start these discussions can lead to avoidance. In reality, mental health fluctuates on a spectrum, with everyone moving through different stages of wellbeing and challenge over time, just like physical health.

It’s time to reflect

One way to start breaking down these barriers is by taking the time to reflect on our own mental health. Asking ourselves some key questions can help us better understand how we’re feeling and whether we may need additional support.

We could ask ourselves:

• How am I feeling emotionally? Am I generally content, or do I often feel stressed, anxious, or low?
• Have I been withdrawing from activities or people I usually enjoy?
• How is my sleep? Am I feeling rested, or am I struggling with insomnia or fatigue?
• Do I feel physically well? How is my energy level and appetite?
• What coping strategies do I use when I feel overwhelmed or stressed, and are they healthy?
• How do my relationships impact my mental wellbeing?
• When was the last time I experienced joy or pleasure?

Recognising patterns of distress — such as persistent negative thoughts or emotions – is the first step toward addressing your mental health and seeking the support you need.

Asking for support is critical

When it comes to seeking support, opening up to a trusted companion can be an incredibly helpful first step. However, this can feel intimidating, especially if you’re unsure how to start the conversation. A good approach is to be honest and direct while also framing the conversation in a way that invites understanding. 

It’s also important to set the stage for the conversation, ensuring you’re in a comfortable, private environment where both of you can talk openly. If you’re nervous about being vulnerable, remember that it’s okay to share at your own pace. The first conversation is often the hardest. With some practice, it will become easier to talk about difficult things. And remember; it’s normal to feel emotional when we are sharing something we’re struggling with.

Some ways you can get the conversation started:

• I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately, and I was wondering if we could talk about it.
• I’ve been struggling with a lot of stress recently. Have you ever felt that way? How do you cope with it?

Helping others who need mental help support

What’s equally important is knowing how to respond when someone reaches out to you for support with their own mental health. It’s common to feel unsure of what to say or to worry about saying the “wrong” thing. But, the most important thing you can do is listen, offer your full attention, and create a space where the person feels safe to share without fear of judgement. Avoid jumping into problem-solving mode or offering quick fixes unless they specifically ask for advice. Instead, focus on validating their feelings. 

There are six levels of validation which you can use to help a person feel heard and respected. It’s recommended to use the highest level of validation that you can. Depending on the situation, you may not always be able to apply at every level. If in doubt, focus on level 1 and 2:

1. Be present and pay complete attention to the person in a non judgemental way.

2. Accurately reflect back what they have said, in their words, to communicate that you heard and understood.

3. Guess what they might be feeling or thinking by reading their behaviour and thinking about the situation (remember you may guess wrong and the person could correct you).

4. Express understanding by considering the person’s behaviour in the context of their biology and history.

5. Normalise or recognise that their emotional reactions make sense given how most people would respond in a similar situation.

6. Offer radical genuineness if the person is experiencing something similar to a struggle you have also faced.

If someone opens up to you, it’s also helpful to ask what kind of support they need. Sometimes, they may just want to be heard. Other times, they might be looking for help in finding resources or coping strategies. Offering to help them find professional support if needed, or simply checking in regularly, can make a huge difference in their mental health journey.

Read our post 5 Ways To Support Someone Struggling With Mental Health.

Are you struggling with mental health or know someone who is? Reach out to one of our expert psychologists today.

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